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Overview

Okay, to be perfectly honest, visiting the Brooklyn Brewery was not exactly an earthshaking experience. I took a long ride on the subway expecting an interesting and entertaining tour followed by at least a short period or beer-filled enjoyment, but alas, this was not to be.

The Trek

I jumped on the subway around 3:00pm and after braving the enormously unreliable L Line, I arrived in Williamsburg a bare 10 minutes before the last tour was scheduled to start. Speeding past the lackadaisical hipsters that clogged the streets near the Bedford station stop, I made my way into a slightly shadier part of town reaching the brewery doors just in time to catch the tour.

The Tour

Unfortunately, as it turns out, the “tour” is really not much more than a view of the brewery’s single brewing room and a difficult to hear history lesson with some beer brewing basics mixed in. I’ll save you the trouble of making the trek over to Williamsburg and just give you the distilled version: A couple of guys decided to quit their day jobs to make beer. Despite naming their company the Brooklyn Brewery, they started out brewing and bottling their beer in upstate New York where they still have most of their operation. They ultimately bought and refurbished the old factory building in Williamsburg that we were then standing in, where they now make about a third of their beer.

The Beer

Now as I had mentioned, I expected to get some beer out of this trip, but after getting out of the lackluster tour, I didn’t have the heart to wait in the gargantuan line that spanned almost the entire length of the building, just to get one or two cold ones before the place closed down at 6:00. The brewery itself is apparently a popular spot, as the bar area was quite crowded even before the tour let out, but I wasn’t going to lose another hour of my life on line to find out why. Incidentally, I did manage to get a free beer due to a case of mistaken identity (someone thought I was part of a private party) and the beer was, as I had expected quite excellent. Just not two-hours-in-the-subway -and-one-hour-in-line excellent. Oh, and incase you were wondering, they make their beer with 100% unfiltered New York City tap water. Well, whatever it is that they do to their beer, it’s working.

The Bottom Line

The tour didn’t cost me anything aside from the time it took to get there, but it also wasn’t really worth that trip in the first place, and the bar was the same story. I’d have to say that unless you’re a diehard fan of the Brooklyn Brewery’s collection of delicious beverages and desperately need to make the pilgrimage to justify your beer worshipping existence, you’re probably better off sitting this one out. If you really want to learn more about the brewery and its fruits, save yourself the trip, buy a couple of six packs of your favorite variety (there are eight, all quite good) and read everything you ever wanted to know about them on the official website.

My next event will be the postponed but not forgotten Wayne Krantz, playing live at 55 Bar this Thursday. I think this is gonna be a pretty good one, so keep watching for new updates and I’ll keep you posted.

Event Scheduled for 3/24/07

I’ve decided on a tour of the Brooklyn Brewery as my replacement event for this week, after having to postpone my live music expedition to 55 Bar due to conflicting obligations. Tours take place every saturday from 12 - 5 pm on the hour, so I think I’ll shoot for the last one and just start the night off early! As I mentioned, 55 Bar isn’t getting cancelled, just postponed till next thursday, 3/29/07.

Hi all! As you know, I had planned on going to hear some live music tomorrow night at 55 Bar, but due to a number of unforseen circumstance, I don’t think I’ll be able to make that event as planned. Fortunately, according to 55 Bar’s online schedule, Wayne Krantz plays just about every thursday like clockwork, so I’m simply going to postpone this live music segment of my cultural explorations until next week.

In the meantime, don’t think I’ll be slacking this weekend! I’m not sure what I’ll do in lieu of live jazz, but I’ll think of something, and as soon as I know, you’ll know. Any suggestions are especially welcome!

THE THEATRE

Despite having to wade through ankle deep drifts of snow, ice and slush, I managed to just make the 8:00 pm show at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre that I had been planning on seeing Friday night. As you may recall, I reserved a ticket, but it didn’t seem to make a difference, as I wouldn’t have been able to make it up to the ticket counter in time to claim it anyway. Fortunately, for the 8:00 pm show, there wasn’t much of a crowd and I was able to wait inside, which was pretty crucial considering the weather.

Inside, the theatre was comfortably appointed with plush theatre seats set around three sides of the floor-level stage. A blackout curtain surrounded the theatre area, and beverages were being served out of what looked like an impromptu bar by the entrance. Throw in an effects booth in the far left corner and a small film crew taping all the action, and you’ve got the UCB Theatre.

THE IMPROV

The show I’d come to see was broken into two different acts: Pain Cake by Alana Harrison and The Al Pacino School of Acting by Cesar Gracia. We kicked off the evening with Pain Cake, an interesting mix of improv and video commentary with the goal of illuminating the meaning of life through a comedic study of pain. Alana Harrison approached the audience in the guise of a scientist from Science Mountain, sciencing her way to greater understanding by observing people’s reactions to pain. The improv that ensued included a study of a frat guy at funeral, Bjork assisting the bomb squad and George Bush being scolded by his wife for sulking under the bed. As with most improv shows, there were a lot of funny moments, but also a few jokes that didn’t quite hit the mark. Still, it was an entertaining diversion after a particularly long day at work.

The second act however was an unqualified success! Cesar Gracia didn’t seem like the perfect match for an Al Pacino impersonator at first, but as the act picked up momentum and he started pulling people out of the audience to perform with him, the portrayal of Al Pacino’s special brand of showmanship became altogether believable and hillarious.

The first and most important lesson that Al Pacino had to teach us was the proper use of that most delightful of all curses, the word “F*ck.” Apparently f*ck is the fulcrum upon which all true dramatic talent rests, and so we excercised its use frequently and with great gusto while reenacting scenes alternately from fairy tales and old Al Pacino movies. One pair of audience members was brought down to the stage to play Romeo and Juliet, as portrayed by Al Pacino and… well, Al Pacino! Another group did scenes from The Devil’s Advocate and Humpty Dumpty. I was called down to play one of the three little pigs, as Al Pacino tried to blow our house down. Needless to say, we told him to f*ck off. By the time the show was over, the stage was littered with the bodies of audience members, replica automatic weapons, and one very exultantly dead Al Pacino. I laughed my f*cking ass off!

THE BOTTOM LINE

The show cost me $8 for about an hour and a half of entertainment, minus about fifteen minutes worth of setup. The line for the 8:00 pm show wasn’t bad at all, but when I was leaving the theatre, the line for the 9:30 show stretched down the block and around the corner despite the nasty mix of snow, slush and hail steadily pummeling the patient theatregoers. I’d recommend going to an earlier show, or at least getting there early if you’re going to see one of the later shows, as the theatre isn’t that big, and would surely fill up under more favorable conditions.

The improv shows obviously can be hit or miss, such is the nature of improv, but the overall experience was a lot of fun, and well worth the time and money. Because of the long line and bad weather, I opted not to try for the second show even though i had planned to see it, but don’t let that discourage you: it was a great night!

Hi all, I’m just making a quick update before I get carried away on my vacation weekend. For those of you who were wondering, yes, I will still be attending the improv show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre tonight despite the horrendous weather. Then I’ll be in transit most of the afternoon tomorrow and celebrating with my family in sunny Florida immediately thereafter, so I probably won’t be making my usual weekend update until Sunday or Monday. In the meantime, here are a few great New York based sites for you to sink your teeth into:

MikeyBoom.com - Some unique insights into the city we call home

Overheard in New York - Hillarious and enlightening conversations overheard in public

The Gothamist - Something newsworthy happens in this city every minute and these guys never miss a beat

That should keep you all busy for a while! Enjoy, and have a great St. Patrick’s Day weekend!

EVENT SCHEDULED FOR 3/22/07

It’s been a while since I’ve heard live jazz, or any live music at all for that matter, so I’ve decided to rectify the situation by devoting myself to a night of sweet tunes for week #5. After checking around for a little while, I found an artist whose music really stood out to me, Wayne Krantz, who is currently playing Thursday nights at 55 Bar in Greenwich Village. I intend to head over to 55 Bar for Mr. Krantz’s 10pm show on the 22nd to see him in action, but I’d also like to encourage all my readers to check out his site and take a listen. If you like what you hear, get your butt over to 55 Bar! I’ll see you there!

OVERVIEW

If Keanu can do, so can you, at Point Break Live! Those of you familiar with the early nineties Keanu classic, Point Break, are bound to enjoy this raucous, bizarre, totally irreverent stage adaptation created by Jamie Hook (director) and New Rock Theater Productions. Together, they’ve managed to put together a wild show complete with killer special effects, suntan oil, action, drama, homoerotic surfers and the ever-popular “Keanu Kam.” There was just one problem: what kind of stage actor could possibly deliver a performance as dramatic and moving as the one Keanu Reeves brought to the movie? The answer, it turns out, was pretty obvious. Instead of casting a professional actor to play Keanu’s groundbreaking role as the washed out college football star turned FBI agent, Johnny Utah, they chose you!

Yes, the lead role in this production is, in fact, a volunteer from the audience. The selection process takes a good ten minutes or so as volunteers are asked to do Keanu impressions and calisthenics until the audience can choose the one who they think can best channel the “Universal Spirit of Keanu.” While the volunteer is in back getting changed, the director will give you an introduction and remind you to don one of the ponchos that can be found on every seat in the theater. Warning: you WILL get wet!

KEANU’S BIG ADVENTURE

The show begins with our hero, Keanu/Johnny Utah/Random Audience Member, going into his first day as a rookie FBI agent in the bank robbery division. But you must be wondering, if he’s just some guy from the audience…how does he know what to say? Not to worry. Our intrepid audience member won’t be alone up there. Throughout the show, he’ll be “assisted” by a cue card lady in kneepads who follows him around prompting him with his lines, and filling in the blanks with a healthy dose of Keanu’s internal monologue. For the most part, you can think of her as Keanu’s brain, only a lot prettier.

Meanwhile, over the course of his adventure, the audience volunteer will infiltrate the aforementioned group of homoerotic surfers, have a comically incoherent relationship with the surfer chick Tyler, played by a an aspiring child actress, and get tackled a whole lot by his cue card lady as he learns to surf, live and love Keanu-style.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Tickets cost $23 with service charge from Theatermania.com or you can get tickets at the door for $20. For this you get about twenty minutes of introduction and Keanu selection, ninety minutes of show and a ten minute intermission but I recommend that you also spend some time before and after the show in the lounge adjacent to the theater getting to know your fellow theatergoers. After all, who wouldn’t want to meet the kinds of colorful characters that get excited to see a show like this? If you’re lucky, you might even get a chance to talk to one or two of the actors as well, and to sweeten the deal even more, beer and wine are available in the lounge and you are encouraged to drink and eat meatball sandwiches (available in the second act) during the performance.

All in all, this was a great early evening activity that will keep you entertained for hours and should fit seamlessly into any other plans you may have for your Friday night. I personally saw this show on its extended run, but have no fear! I’m told that due to the shows apparent popularity, they’ve decided to extend the performance dates yet again, so you can (in theory) still get tickets through theatermania.com, or just hop on over to the Milagro Theater on the Lower East Side Friday or Saturday nights to catch all the action!

Looks like week 4 is gonna be a double wammie! I’ve decided on comedy for this round of NYC culture, and the Upright Citizens Brigade has answered the call, so next friday, March 16th, I’ll be heading up to UCBT for a night of improv. Though I’m assured that you can pay at the door, I’ve gone ahead and reserved tickets for the 8pm and 9:30pm shows, $8 each because it’s the weekend (for weekdays most shows are only $5).

On top of that, it’s going to be St. Patrick’s Day, and even though i’ll be in Tampa, I’ll still be reporting in on whatever it is that Floridians do to celebrate this jolly occasion. For a full list of future and past events, see my upcoming events page!

As a newcomer to the city, the first obstacle you will probably be facing is finding a place to live. Sound simple? Well, if you don’t mind living in a box, then yes (though even here you’ll have some stiff competition from more seasoned hobos for prime box real estate). Alternately, if you own a fortune 500 company, you likely aren’t worrying to much about finding a reasonable place to live. For the rest of you, you’ll probably want to plan a little more carefully, so to help you find your dream apartment, or at least something big enough to fit your bed in, I’ll walk you through some steps that I think will make the transition a little easier.

STEP 1: SUBLET - Good neighborhood/bad neighborhood can be confusing enough, and you’re not even down to street level yet, so if you’re new to the city, why take a chance? There are dozens, maybe hundreds of sublets throughout the five boroughs available every single day, often at reduced rates. Take a look on Craigslist and pick one out to try for a few months.

STEP 2: ASK THE NATIVES - Your best source for information is going to be other people, preferably friends, but you can pump information from the people at work, in bars, at coffee shops, or really anywhere. Contrary to popular belief, many New Yorkers are friendly and more than willing to tell you all about the places they live. The more you find out before having to make any long term decisions, the better.

STEP 3: SLEEP AROUND - You heard right. now that you’ve got your sublet, get the hell out and sleep somewhere else once in a while. Stay with friends, lovers, accomodating strangers, anyplace but home. It’s important to leave your neighborhood and find out what its like living somewhere else for a day. If you feel comfortable enough, go ahead and walk around a few choice areas that are of interest to see if you feel at home there. Not all neighborhoods are necessarily what you’d expect, and you may be surprised at what you learn.

STEP 4: GO FOR A TEST DRIVE - Now that you’ve got some basic New York knowhow under your belt, it’s time to actually start seeing apartments. By now, you should have a general idea of what you want in an apartment and a neighborhood, and if you don’t, you’re not doing yourself any favors by rushing. At this point, it may be a good idea to visit some places that you think you can afford, just for practice. This way, you can establish more thoroughly what you’re looking for and how much it will cost you.

STEP 5: EYE OF THE TIGER: You’ve got all the information you’re going to need. It’s time to play for all the marbles. Keep looking at apartments, only this time, be ready to pounce. You’ll find that apartments come and go in a matter of days in this city, even less if they are particularly desireable, so you should be comfortable enough with your needs and limitations at this stage to make a decision on the spot. If you see something you want be prepared to snatch it up, and conversely, don’t be afraid to walk away if a place just doesn’t seem up to spec.

Now naturally, all this will take some time. If you don’t have that kind of time, or want to try and find something right away, you might want to consider finding an agent instead. Finding a qualified agent may seem even more difficult than finding a reasonable rent in Manhattan, but my friend and former employer, Niki Scevak, has built an impressive website, Homethinkin.com, that can help you if this is the path you want to take. One way or another, I wish all of my readers the best of luck finding their new digs, and hope that this advice has been helpful! Keep on watching for more lessons on Becoming a New Yorker!

Hi all, I’ve decided to slightly widen the scope of this blog by introducing a new, related section dealing with the most fundamental part of New York culture: Becoming a New Yorker!

As I myself moved here only recently, I feel that there is a lot newcomers can learn from my successes and my mistakes, so I’ll occasionally be complimenting my regular weekly adventures with advice for the city’s brave new arrivals. While I’m no guru myself, I think that my fresh perspective could really shed some light on the concerns and doubts that are only natural to those coming to this strange new world for the first time, so watch out for these nuggets of wisdom. Who knows, maybe a few of you seasoned veterans will learn a few things too!